[ rèzzə rékt ]
- raise somebody from dead: to come back to life after apparent death, or bring somebody back to life
- reinstate something: to bring back into use something that had been stopped or discarded
The time has come, and for some, it is long overdue, yet others have most likely long forgotten the woman who simultaneously maddened, aroused, amused, insulted and frightened them, but after many years of silence, I am poised and ready to return. A lot of strange events and people have come and gone in the few years I was using my inside voice but the desire to write never did leave me. Sure, I kept it buried pretty deeply, but it was always there pestering me, taunting me.
I can't really pinpoint why I stopped writing, but I can pretty clearly list everything about it that I miss. I miss the feeling of my fingers flying across the keys while music rattles my teeth, I miss giving my words a home, I miss the freedom, the release, the agony, the joy, the pain...With a pen and paper, my hand doesn't keep up with my brain, but I CAN type almost as quickly as I think!
Over the last few months I have been pondering how making new friends (and I'm not talking push the "add to friends" button kind of friends, I'm talking about flesh and blood close enough to make eye contact and share big warm hugs with kind of friends) became so difficult. I remember back in elementary school when making a new friend was as easy as taking a cookie to another child and asking, "do you want to be my friend?". This digital/social/electronic whatthefuckever society has sort of cheapened friendships. Now there are droves of the people who seem to collect names on their friends or followers lists and carry on like they truly know any of these people. Sure, sometimes the stars align just right and we make the time to meet some of these people face to face. This has happened to me maybe half a dozen times in the last 10 years, of those I have shared common space with , I am only still in contact with a scarce few, ok, 2. I have an amazing friend whom I "met" back in the days of MSN Spaces and she came out to stay with me a few years ago. She and I quickly became great friends. It has been entirely too many years since we occupied common space, but we close the distance a wee bit by IMing a squillion times a day. I want a few really good friends. People to share laughs, meals, inside jokes (preferably dirty ones!), knowing glances, birthdays, heartache, triumphs, joy, pain and everything in between. Yes, I ask a lot. Yes, I deserve it.